SATISFIED [:

Abandoned? Or not?

2008-01-19T04:04:00.000-08:00

Yeah, Im back again. Its been a while since I typed here. Anyhow, Im uber busy because of school papers. Plus, we've been celebrating yearly the feast day of our school. And, we should attend the mass at school for nine freaking days. :)) I aint doing bad, again. LOL.

We'll be building bahay-kubo's for each year level and it is a must because it's a competition. Its tough, we're gonna be our own bahay-kubo's carpenters! The pre-judging will be on the 24th. We haven't started yet, we're out of budget. :)) My classmates aren't working out together. : And oh, we'll be wearing Filipino costumes at the exact date of the feastday. It's a curse wearing those things. I'll be 'baduy', exactly. :)) LOL. Well, Im'ma wear white shirt and jeans paired with that so-called cloth thingy - malong. Ow yea, it's kinda native. And it's okay. :)) I GUESS, I THINK. HAHA!

The II-FLi's are uber addicted playing jumping ropes. Yeah, we haven't played it for a long freaking time. Well I think, its time for us to enjoy despite of our busy-ness. :)

Anyways, Im tired for updates. :p Not now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Bryan!
Jan. 04

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY DENDEN!
Jan. 11

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAPA!
Jan. 23

A reason to celebrate

2008-01-01T03:50:00.000-08:00

Happy 2008! My New year wasn't happy at all. It was a total bore. I mean, Im just right here - alone and crying. Mixed emotions na rin. I cant feel the presence of my family and friends.

I may not be the best daughter to my grandfather, but still there is this feeling of pity and loneliness I feel towards him. We've been together not for a long long time when my parents decided and left Batangas eh. We just go and visit there during once a year. You know, our situation is kinda complicated. I knew about this prob between my lolo and lola secretly, cos my mom's kinda acting weird. She wouldn't even talk about it. All I know is - there is something between my grandparents. My lolo's doing right, its just my lola's putting him on shame.

I won't go into details, the problem's clarified yet unclear.

Mahirap i-explain, but I know my lolo has the point. Dude, I just can't imagine how long we haven't talked to each other. Nor a simple greet, wala. I had a chance to talk to him for a short period of time lang, and that was last Monday. (December 31, 2006 at about 4-5 PM)

Me: Hello! Hello!
Lolo: Oh?
Me: Happy New year po. C Fritz po eto. :)
Lolo: Ay, oo.
Me: Musta na po?
Lolo: Ha? Oh?
Lolo: Oh, kakausapin ko ulit mama mo.

I simply don't know what to say after. Naiilang ako, its like meeting a new friend and introducing myself to him. LOL. :)) He didn't even knew me, even with my voice. Puro 'OH' lang siya. I understand his part rin, he wasn't able to see me for 2 years. Too bad, parang Pilipinas-Amerika ang distance namin ano?

Anyways, I can't paint a laugh nor a smile on his face. Super ang bigat ng feeling kahit happy ako na nakausap ko siya. I really wanted to comfort him and ask him something, pero I cant. I dont have the confidence, maybe because we haven't talked na nga for a long time. This was the first time I felt like this, I easily get pity on old people eh. Not kidding. Looking at them and seeing them alone. Dude, I dont want my grandparents experience that.

Stop the drama. :))

Let's start our 2008 with love and fun. There are still more reasons to celebrate our year around. Looking good is feeling good inside. Expect little, but do your best and dream BIG. :) Learn how to live life.

My New year was fun! Fireworks made me smile a lot. :)) As in, hinihika na ako dahil sa usok. Well, I had a lot of fun naman. Thanks to everyone, for making my 2007 great!

The Return

2007-12-30T20:08:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening to: Bizarre Love Triangle

OMG! I missed everything here. Finally, the last day of my 2007 ended up with this. I mean, I greatly assure that I will update this if Im not bored. Kidding. :)) Kasi I wanted to spill out my feelings since I dont have this Dear Diary thing. I have this feeling of contentment na cos eversince I have this tendency of hating myself for not being able to accomplish a certain thing. That is - having a personalized blog. :) Well, great for me.

I haven't started making New Year resolutions. Anyways, its not a big deal for me. Im just afraid that I will not be able to do it. I have lots of commitments in my studies. Projects, assignments, and examinations are lined up. I get easily tempted, and BLAST! Hindi ko nafu-fulfill everything including my priorities.

I do wonder lang talaga - "Does it make sense to me?" I mean, so what if na-cope up ko yung something na gusto ko ma-achieve. Yeah, I get happy. Pero parang may kulang, there's something I wanted cos parang ang intense ng feeling na kulang pa. I dont know eh. Strange. :))

My God, I wanted to stay away from temptations. I know, Im weak. I never noticed that my grades are affected. Im starting to be absent-minded at home and at school. I wanna step back and escape everything, including some of my bestfriends. Having a barkada is not the issue. But, some of my ka-barkada's the issue. Im to manhid for that relationship thing. I don't know if that'll be good for me. I dont wanna go into details. :)) Haha! Im starting to be senti na naman.

To them or to Him, loving me is not a problem. But having me is the BIG problem. I dont wanna be the reason of your tears. Quit, stop approaching my connections. Samok au ka! Drama enu? :))

So what, after?

Classes will resume on the 7th of January. *BITIN na vacation for all of us. :p